Archive for the ‘~ Dark Side Blobs ~’ Category

~ PGA Regressing??? ~   14 comments


“Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective.” … Huxtable Pippey

    A couple ‘a friends was over this morn, listenin to the morning show, playin a little “Hot Shots” golf on the PS2, ‘n just generally laughin our collective azzes off at societies woes as reported on the news ‘n such. It’s therapeutic … beats Hades out ‘a whining bout it. You know … like the price ‘a gas is goin up $5.oo a barrel on account the storm hasn’t even hit ground yet, ‘n somewhere’s in Arabia, some poor camel is sufferin a swollen left testicle what no-one gives a rat’s azz about. That sort ‘a thang.

    The good folk who run the PGA (Professional Golfers’ Association), as an dictatorship apparently, in they’s ultimate wisdom have decided that within two years, any player wishing to make the PGA tour must speak, or learn to speak English!!! Period!! No exceptions. All ta do with interviews, promotions, that kind ‘a thing. I do believe it’s called “Corporate Image” ‘er some dangged thang like that. Let’s face it. Golfing at the PGA level is an English language game, damnit!!! 

Although it does bunch me onions a wee bit that language should be such an issue in something as simple as a gentleman’s game ‘a golf … Point ‘a fact, ‘n nothin ta do with all ‘a this PGA crap, I’d be all in favour ‘a there bein one single international language on a global basis. On all fronts!!! Pick a language, any language, start teachin it in every school on the globe. At least in the future, there’d not be some dickhead pushin the all-tagether wrong button on account ‘a artistic licence of interpretation.  Fortunately for me, although it really wouldn’t make a molehill ‘a difference in any case, it’d most likely be English bein as the aeronautical industry has already established for pilots and air traffic controllers. A plane load ‘a 300 folk comin in ta land, the controller calls out …

“Flight ‘IA one zero one’, maintain two thousand feet at heading one fifteen, your clear for approach on runway two six niner, left”.

And if’n that ain’t enough ta crash ’em right then ‘n there, what the air traffic controller DON’T want ta be hearing at this point, is …

“आप कहते हैं कि आप चाहते हैं कि मुझे अपने कान में चिपका न हो ? ?”

*yikes man!!! … gg*

   The radidio hosts is havin a blast citing safety reasons for the PGA’s decision. For example: ya gets some German dude screamin “Vorsegelll!!!!”. Yer standin there scratchin yer head  wonderin what in Hades this “Vorsegel” thingy-ma-gigger is all about when … *BLAM!!* … One dimpled golfing ball, Right between the peepers. Me ‘n Johnny, we’s off on our own little shizz ‘n giggles fest, when Johnny pipes up with the question, “What about yer deaf ‘n dumb golfers??”. Some poor deaf dumb bloke out there with ‘is interpreter flippin the bird every other word, ‘n now within the next two years, the poor son of a putter has ta learn ta speak a language he can’t even hear!!! … What??? No dumb deaf folk allowed in the PGA???

    We then gets ta wonderin about sign language. … Fer some dumb-azz reason I’ve no notion of, other than unrequited hope, I had it in me head that the signing community was a shining example of a minority global community all speakin the same international language, so’s to speak, or sign as it were. *grins … * Couldn’t an apple, be an apple, be an apple, be an apple wherever they go??? NO!!! … I looked it up in *Wikipedia*. “Hundreds of sign languages are in use around the world, and are at the cores of local deaf cultures. Some sign languages have obtained some form of legal recognition, while others have no status at all.”I’m saddened!!! *gigglin … * But Hey!!! What right have the deaf to get along with the rest of the world any better than the rest of us?? Am I right??? …

    Screw ‘em!!! That’s what the PGA folk ’ll be sayin. Will they regress any further do ya spose?? … “What??? He can’t speak English??? Someone tell that deaf dumb black Chinese Jew gay guy, he can’t play lest he switches team, converts, tees up straight to the ball, dyes his skin white,  and learns ta speak ENGLISH, Damnit!!!


    Another beauty day in the neighbourhood kiddies. Like my good friend Brenna would cite … Come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody get tagether, try to love one another right now …

    Ciao fer Now, ‘n will catch ya’s later.

(all translations done through *Google Translate* Hmmmm …)


Posted August 27, 2008 by Archie ~Grumps~ in ~ Dark Side Blobs ~

~ Drive it Like Ya Stole It!!! ~   10 comments




                         B&W Trash Cans

Not ta worry CNR!! … Mother Nature ‘ll be more than Happy ta take care ‘a that fer ya!!!

Ya rolls up the windows, locks the doors, gots the keys in yer pocket, … and ya figures yer car is safe???

Is funny how late in life we learn about respect fer the property ‘a others. Some more so than others I spose, or some worse than others, pendin what way ya wants ta look at it. Ranging from egging bedroom windows. ta grand theft auto. Oh yeah!! Ya hear ‘a these kids stealin peoples vehicles ta go on little joy rides, ‘n wonder just how do these little buggers manage ta steal a car right out ‘a the driveway so quickly, ‘n without gettin caught. Not ta mention, without the friggin Keys!!! These kids even have a list ‘a which cars is the easiest ta boost fer crap sakes. Go figure!!

A bud ‘a mine, Johnny from Johnny’s Deli, and not to very long ago, did have that very thing happen right out in his very own lane way. An 1991 S-15 GMC Jimmy. Locked up, buttoned up, ‘n seemingly, safe as a bug in a rug. One minute it’s there, ‘n the next it ain’t. Fortunately, his Jimmy did get found, ‘n other than the damage caused from the break in, looks like they didn’t have any altercations with other vehicles, or standing objects the like ‘a trees ‘n such. Wasn’t too very much gas in it, so they didn’t get too far fore they run out ‘a motion lotion, ‘n coasted into the nearest parkin lot.

So, how do they do it ya asks??? With a small hammer, ‘n a screw driver near as we could tell after havin a good look at it. First things first, ya gots ta circumvent the door lock. Apparently, alls ya have ta do is punch the screwdriver through the door skin near to,  just right of bottom center ‘a the door lock, ‘n give it a twist so’s ta turn yer little cut into an open slotted groove. Then a crack ‘a the screwdriver into the key slot ‘a the lock,  give it a twist ta get the guide through the handy little slot, ‘n pry the lock out ‘a the door. From there is simply a matter ‘a pushin up or down on the locking linkage to lock, or unlock the door. I figure about 15 ta 30 seconds, ‘n the perpetrator is already sittin cool in ‘is stool behind ‘a the wheel ‘a Your car.

With trusted hammer in hand, smash the upper steering column collar by the turn signal switch, and the lower collar nearer to the dash ta allow access to the linkage which unlocks the steering, the transmission, starts, ‘n runs the engine along with all ‘a the accessories. Some pryin, yankin, twistin, ‘n breaking the connection between the ignition switch linkage, and the finale linkage what does all ‘a the work. Now alls ya gots ta do, is push the finale linkage forward till the vehicle starts, ‘n let it return out to the run position. Probly less than two minutes in total.

Look Ma!!! No Keys!!!!


And away they goes, drivin it like they stole it!!

So anyway’s, Johnny manages ta get a new steering column from a bud who just happens ta have an ole Jimmy hangin about fer spare parts, ‘n we does the big removal ‘n replacement routine. Went surprisingly well actually. We didn’t have ta go back ta the parts counter three times, ‘n it didn’t take three phreakin days!! A couple a bits ‘a frustration, but quite the easy deally all in all.

My guess is that were it a professional, there’s not much you can do ta keep yer vehicle safe. When it comes to these "joy riders" however, I am of the thinkin that one ‘a them "Club" devices would go a long ways twards keepin yer car right where ya parked it. These joy rider kids not likely carry a full complement ‘a tools about with ’em, ‘n I’m bettin if’n they looked in yer car, ‘n seen the "Club" on yer steerin wheel, they’ll be off ta the next lane way in a heartbeat. For Johnny!! … Lesson learned!! He now has a Club on the wheel. *grins*

On the lighter side, … At one point durin the procedure, I was takin a little resty poo, chattin with ~Brenna~ in the back ‘a the Jimmy, when she says fer me ta check out this little spider millin about on the hood. One ‘a them tiny little furry dudes what look somethin like a crab, ‘n jumps about like greased lightning when they gets in a hurry. Pretty cool lookin little guy, so I take off to da Bunker ta get me Camera ta see if’n I can get a couple ‘a shots of ‘im.

IMG_0153,spider,crop      IMG_0161,Spider,crop

At first, the little bugger weren’t too big on me bein there pizzin in ‘is Wheaties, ‘n was spiderin his fuzzy butt away from me makin it a challenge ta get a decent shot. After a couple ‘a minutes ‘a "Mother May I", the little critter started ta standin it’s ground. Lookin me right in the eye, ‘n posturin some wee bit liken as if ‘e was threatening me ta get the Hades away from ‘is condo.

 IMG_0158spider,crop     IMG_0159,spider,crop

After a bit, He had closed right in on me, ‘n I was linin up ta get a real nice face on shot ‘a the little dude. It was just as I was takin the shot when I noticed me friendly neighborhood arachnid start movin right towards me!!!


Bare in mind now!! …

Thus far, even with the macro, all ‘a these shots I’ve had to crop a fair bit ta get this spider ta fill the picture. This next shot however, needed no cropping what so ever!!! …

IMG_0163,Spider Leap,Auto Levels

My thought is that this guy must be a member of the ~jumping spider~ genus. As I was peering through the view screen, ‘n takin this last shot, I watched as this little shyte leapt from the hood ‘a the Jimmy in an offensive strike attack on the camera lens. Man oh Man!! I’m tellin ya what kiddies!! Lookin through the view screen, It looked as though this thing was aimin ta gnaw me face off. It startled me so, upon seein it get larger than life in the screen, that I reeled backywards, saved from fallin flat on me azz through taking the rear view mirror ‘a the old grey pick-me-up truck parked arrear ‘a me, right square, ‘n centered in me back. That’s why here at da Bunker, we say …

No Teasing ‘a the Wildlife!!!

Well, that and, …

Keep hands ‘n arms Clear ‘a the Cage!!!

Off ta get some more Java inta me Kiddies. Will catch ya’s all later.

Ciao Fer Now …

PS: No arachnids gots they’s eyelids crushed durin the making ‘a this blob.   *giggles ‘n grins*


Posted September 30, 2007 by Archie ~Grumps~ in ~ Dark Side Blobs ~

~ ‘Dr. Death’ Walks ~   7 comments



Frail and smiling, ‘Dr. Death’ walks out of prison 

LANSING, Michigan

        (AP) — Jack Kevorkian, the retired pathologist dubbed “Dr. Death” after claiming he had participated in at least 130 assisted suicides, left prison after eight years Friday still believing people have the right to die.


        Dr. Jack Kevorkian is a hero in my books. “Principals only mean something if you stand up for them when it’s inconvenient”. That he most certainly did, and I am in agreement with him one hundred percent in his stand on legally assisted suicide. The right to die?? How’s about the right to die with dignity. Dr. Death they call him??? That’s all well ‘n good. Like I’ve said before, should be a friggin franchise. Lets have a Dr. Death in every major city.

***Coming to a rooftop near you. No long line ups!! No waiting!!*** 

      While we’re at it, perhaps the definition of insufferable pain should be expanded to include those with insufferable mental pain as well as the folks with physical pain. Mayhap there’d be a few less folk jumpin in front of trains ‘n automobiles, scattering they’s brains with shotguns, stringin theyselves up in the closet fer the family ta find. In fact, mayhap there’d be less incidental suicides, period. I’m sure someone such as Dr. Kevorkian would probly do something the governments of this planet seem oh so unable to do. Help people!!!

      If folks with suicidal tendencies could approach such a clinic, mayhap they could be shown a way to get the necessary help such as to deal with they‘s problems, ’n carry on with a productive life. And for those who quite simply have not got the will, want and determination ta carry on after seeking help, why should they be forced to suffer through an indeterminate amount of time, or indeed, take matters into they‘s own hands. Why shouldn’t they be able to take advantage of such a service as assisted suicide so’s to go out with some semblance of dignity, ‘n avert the suffering of the people who would ultimately find these lost souls in whatever condition, creating whatever nature ‘a mess to be cleaned up. …

      Have at it Jack!!! If’n I don’t miss my guess, you have the support of the majority!!! Although, the support of the majority so often is not enough in this supposed democratic society. The justice system fails miserably yet again. In my opinion, convicting, ‘n jailing Dr. Kevorkian was no less an action than to impose an indeterminate life sentence, with absolutely no chance of parole, to anyone ‘n everyone who deals with chronic, insufferable pain, ‘n mental anguish on a daily basis.


      Somebody owes me two cents!! *grins*

              Have a great one, will catch ya’s later.

                                         Ciao Fer Now …







Posted June 6, 2007 by Archie ~Grumps~ in ~ Dark Side Blobs ~

~ John is coming home!! ~   22 comments



One is left with the horrible feeling now that war settles nothing; that to win a war is as disastrous as to lose one.

                   Agatha Christie (1890 – 1976), Autobiography (1977)


I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

                                      Albert Einstein (1879 – 1955)



Had me one ‘a them nights last night. Was getting pretty tired. So 21:30h, there I was stretched out on the sofa fer a short bit. From what I don’t remember, I must ‘a bin asleep in pretty quick order.

Fast Forward to 02:00h … Wakes up with stiff neck, obviously. Stumbles about a wee bit wonderin whether ta head out ta the Bunker fer a puff er kind ‘a wake up a bit first. Yeah that’s right … As any smoker can tell ya … a Smoke is pretty high on the agenda when ya first stirs from the slumber. I’ve no doubt that they’s still some what keep a pack right there on the bedside table. Right there next ta the ashtray.

Oh Man!! I’m still not awake fer crap sakes. … So anyways .. There I is wanderin to the can ta shoot a pizz when I notices that the puter room light is still on, and as well, the puter. Stumble in bashin me thigh on the desk as I rounds the corner, and see’s one ‘a them cute little orange buttons in the power bar at the bottom denoting that some-one had summoned me on messenger.

Twas my buddy Tom, from way back in the good ole school daze. He had joined the Canadian Armed Forces back in 1975, the year following my entry, is now retired, married fer a second time around, and living in Florida.

His son, John, kind ‘a following in the old mans footy steps, joined up with the American army, and is currently on tour in Iraq.

I’ve no idea how this conversation would ‘a gone at 22:15h, but here’s all what was left of it at 02:30h in the mornin.


Tom Rode GO BIG! Ops Manager says:

u there

Tom Rode – GO BIG! Ops Manager says:

Hey buddy just wanted to let u know. I’ve lost my son John over in Iraq. I’ll be pretty much out of it for a bit.

Grumps   says:

Oh phuck no Tom!!! … Just checkin ta see if yer still there Tom


John is on his way home now!!!

If’n ya’ll will excuse me … I’ve ta head out ta the Bunker ‘n fire up a smoke, … ‘n mayhap let shed a couple ‘a tears what I bin fightin off here.



         Update, 09:00h

Whooooosh … Me poor wee nugget’s only designed ta do 20 mile per hour, ‘n here it is, still doin 90. Gee, I wonder what that’s all about. *grins*

I was out doin my mornin java, a bit ‘a Folgers in me cup, watchin an episode ‘a Star Trek ta try ta distract myself some, and yes .. sheddin a couple ‘a tears {Shhhhh…}, yet still, I get ta thinkin. At some point, it occurred ta me that I’s done a fair bit ‘a writin on the subject ‘a war. Then I got ta wonderin if’n any ‘a my opinions might possibly change in light ‘a this tragedy. Now, when I say tragedy, bare in mind, … My thoughts start here at home, and then, broaden absorbing all as if a snowball until I’m oh so far from  my own little corner ‘a the world. I mean Hey!!! It’s a phuckin war!!!! War is a phuckin tragedy!!!! … Right!?!?!?

As it stands, I do believe all of my opinions on the subject will stand intact. They are after all, my opinions. They are without sentiment and as well, without prejudice. They’re my opinions on war it’s self, thoughts of the root causes of war, and hopefully, if I can keep pluggin away at it, I hope ta get ta what I believe to be, that which would be necessary for mankind to enjoy a world without war.


Jan 05/06 ~ War ! ! Boom-Boom-Boom ! ! What is It Good For ? ? ~

Mar 09/06 ~ Governing Bodies. ~

Aug 28/06 ~ Teach Yer Children Well ~

Oct 26/06 ~ The future is Not ‘Hours’ ~ ‘I’ to ‘III’

            More to come …


Well, Fer anyone with any little bit ‘a interest … There’s the titles to the meat ‘a ‘em, and the links are right in the titles. Unfortunately, These particular blobs are all entried in the dark side list.

And please … I’ll not get too personal here at the moment, but I would like ta say thanks to each, and all of you for your sentiments. Your absolutely right Roxy.


Ciao Fer Now Kiddies …

Friday Evening:

Ya look out the window, see all ‘a that bright sunshine, ya think it might be warm enough fer a quick ‘n comfortable walk?? Damn, it’s cold out there!!

Yes, it’s still Winter!!!  


I gotta say kiddies … I know of a couple ‘a folks what have relations serving over in Iraq right now. I spose I’ve known , subconsciously, that one day I might hear this news, ‘n just never really considered it much. Ya hear in the newscasts of fallen  soldiers, and ya certainly do feel some nature ‘a sorrow, but damn!! Bring it on just a little wee bit closer ta home … Feelin the way I’ve felt these last two days simply knowing a long time friend to be goin through all ‘a  this … I’d sure not be wantin ta be in my buddy’s shoes.


Tom, my old friend … I’d share ‘em with ya in a heartbeat if only ta give ya a wee bit ‘a respite from the tempest.


I would be a mere child in the presence of true greatness. 

Archie Vaughan.


Tuesday Mornin:

Was chattin with Tom Yesterday fer a bit. Says he’s doin not too bad. Deffinately … Still havin his moments says he. I’ve no doubt. He had mentioned to me about an article in the Charlot Observer whieh I googled up. For anyone interested, it gives a little background, and insight into just who John really is.

{August 18/08, Story no longer available}

It’s pretty comfortable fer most, that the stories from the front line end on the evening news. But there ya go eh. One quickly figures out that they do indeedy run deeper when they winds up on yer doorstep. Was pretty crushing to put it mildly, when I came in here, and was greeted by that message from Tom. A moment stunned, before melting.




Posted February 15, 2007 by Archie ~Grumps~ in ~ Dark Side Blobs ~

~ Pick Me!! Pick Me!! ~ {cloning}   17 comments




Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. 

  Sam Levenson (1911 – 1980)


06/01/2007 9:56:10 AM

~ Archie’s Bunker ~


        Do you see any moral issues in cloning pet??

        Sometimes when I has a wee look through the stats, I’ll see a search with the search terms put in the form of a Question what looks as though they’s  bein directed straight at me here. Especially when ya considers that they’s fer the most part through this search engine “”. Somewhat odd I’m thinkin that someone would use a foreign language search engine ta search somethin up in English what has some relevance to somethin I’ve already written about, and with such frequency. They’s bin a bunch I’ve bin tempted ta answer to, but just spend too much time wonderin if the question is pointed at me, ‘n not enough time thinkin bout the question. Shall I have a quick go at this one here??? … Sure eh,    Why not !!!

        My first concern with reproductive cloning of pets I spose would have to be that mankind can never seem to be satisfied with anything till it’s bin exploited to the extreme. Secondly, I would have to question … What ??? Is the population of our domestic friends not high enough through natural means?? What city ‘a bliss are you livin in what ya haven’t heard ‘a the SPCA reaching out fer people to adopt forsaken dogs ‘n cats?? Who’s never turned on the news ‘n seen stories ‘n footage of the extent of cruelty in neglected … which a’ ma call’ems?? Oh yeah!! Puppy mills!!! Greyhounds as well, bein rescued from racetracks, ‘n certain death, simply cause they can’t keep up to the pace ‘a the race. Even in the case ‘a husbandry, between natural ‘n artificial insemination, is there not enough meat in the freezer such as we need ta be mass cloning cattle ‘n pigs?? Do we need ta be cloning sheep?? When’s the last time ya went ta Walmart fer a wool sweater ‘n found the racks ta be empty??

        I spose of course, through mankind’s exploitation, that there are quite a few species of creatures on this planet what are now considered to be on the endangered species list. Perhaps we could start cloning some ‘a these so’s man’s extreme exploitations can be raised ta new levels. There could never be enough whales in the sea fer us ta be huntin down with harpoons tipped with explosive charges, now could there?? And Hey!!! Who don’t want ta have a great big ole Siberian Tiger rug by the hearth??? Could I get mine with a great big grin on it’s face … please??

        Of course, it could never end there as we all know. Like any other new technology, the governments of our little patchwork planet are ferever lurkin in the wings lookin ta see how new technology can be exploited in they’s little games ‘a power ‘n glory. Just think kiddies!! Disposable armies!!! Entire forces ‘a famillyless soldiers ta send to the front line without a care in the world ‘a family ‘n friends mournin over they’s dead, ‘n left behind face down in the mud, mommy ‘n daddyless corpses. How cool would that be?? …  WAR ??? … BRING IT ON !!!! What the hell. Things start ta lookin a little lopsided in the other guy’s favour, send a little nuclear power they’s way. Drop a nuke er two. Wouldn’t even have ta worry bout collateral damage. Yeah eh. BRING IT ON MOTHER PHUCKERS !!! WE’S READY FER YA’S !!!

        Moral issues ‘a cloning pets my azz!! Oh hey !! I did get a little ways from the whole pet thingy, now didn’t I?? lets just say that you figure you gots the smartest dog on the planet, ‘n it’s time is drawin near. Ya figure ya wants another one JUSSSST like it. {The neighbours is bin driven from they’s back yard with it’s incessant barkin, but that gotta be the neighbour’s fault} Or perhaps it’s the meanest, nastiest, most ill-tempered savage beast, ‘n ya wants six more JUSSSST like it ta put inta the ring, er ta guard yer gorw-op.  So ya take it’s left testicle down ta “Clones Are Us”, yer greeted by Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, ‘n Jimmy ‘n order up a brand spankin new one, er six.

        Are ya truly gonna get the exact same animal?? It may look the same, all ‘a the same colourin, same length ‘a hair, same raunchy dog breath, ‘n only one nut *grins…*, but will it really be the exact same??? Personally, I don’t believe there’s any way in Hades that you’d be able ta raise this cloned animal in the exact same fashion. My thinkin is that it will most assuredly develop a personality all unto it’s own. As it develops, it’s mind will form it’s own pathways forming it’s very own personality which may, or may well not be anything like it’s blueprinted predecessor. Fer instance … did ya have young kids around when the old fido came into yer lives and this time there are none?? Are you as active now, some 10 to 15 years later as ya was when ya raised the first one?? It’ll be a completely different dog kiddies. Of that, I have no doubt. It’ll learn its own means ‘a communicatin with ya, it’ll socialize differently, ‘n perhaps this one’ll have nothin ta do with the water even though it’s predecessor couldn’t get enough ‘a it.

        Social issues ‘a cloning yer pet??? What the Hades for!!! Get yer azz down ta the SPCA ‘n rescue one ‘a the ones what’s already out there ‘n in need of a good home. Let’s leave reproduction up to Mother Nature. She bin doin it since the beginning ‘a time, and if mankind would cut ‘er some slack, is more than able ‘a doin quite a good enough job of it, thank you very much !!!


        On a side note however, Therapeutic Cloning is an altogether nother story. I’m all up fer that I got ta tell ya. The possibility that one day we may be able ta clone single organs such as heart, kidney, liver, a new testicle fer the one nutted dog *Phewwww… grins..*, or how’s about a brand spankin new foreskin for those of us what got butchered at an age what we had absolutely no say in the matter. Stomach, spleen, intestines, bowel, … Who knows?? Mayhap the skies the limit. Mayhap we could clone up a new leg fer any ‘a our cloned super soldiers what go ‘n foolishly step onto a land mine. Fix em up ‘n send em right back inta the foray. Meh … Why bother!! They’s disposable right?? Make a whole new one ‘n send ‘im in.

        Therapeutic cloning, embryo cloning, stem cell research, call it what ya want I spose. To take an egg which has divided fer five days ("a blastocyst") , ‘n manipulate it to form virtually any type ‘a specialized human cell with hopes as well ‘a findin treatments for heart disease, Alzheimer’s, cancer, ‘n other diseases seems like a pretty good deal ta me. I’ve no intension ‘a getting into an ethical debate here, but I will say this. I heard a little blurp in the news about a week ago what was sayin that they’s discovered a method ‘a getting “Stem Cells” from the embryonic fluids so’s not ta hurt either the expected mother ta be, nor the expected embryo to be. So here’s ta that, ‘n mayhap the naysayer’s {a small minority from what I’ve seen} will be put onta the bench so’s the good ship “Discovery” can be unlashed from it’s pier, ‘n sail inta the inevitable future.


                  Speakin ‘a eggs … I’ll have mine over medium, please.



Ciao Fer Now Kiddies …

Take care ‘n will fetch up with ya’s later.




Posted January 15, 2007 by Archie ~Grumps~ in ~ Dark Side Blobs ~

~ Paisley Water Blues! ~   8 comments


Paisley Water Blues ! ! !

To say the least, a town life makes one more tolerant and liberal in one’s judgement of others.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 – 1882), Hyperion, 1839

         Man oh Man ! ! !  Sometimes the pettiness ‘a people is enough ta drive me right over the edge. Ever hear of a place by the name ‘a Paisley in Ontario ?? Of course ya have. Or not. … Is a little place just big enough not ta be considered a village and barely big enough ta be classified as a town (population less than 2000) and just a little piece up the road from Walkerton Ontario. Oh sure ! … Walkerton’s got some eyebrows raising now. Isn’t that where they had all ‘a that ecolli bacteria in the municipal water system what killed off a few ‘a the folks and made a bunch ‘a more of em sick. Not ta mention, has just about every well in the free world classified as non-drinkable as a result ‘a what all went on with that.

          Anyways …  Now it’s Paisley in the news fer water related problems. Seems ta be makin one er two ‘a the towns most petty people sick, so it is. Ya see, pretty near the entire force ‘a the fire department is made up ‘a volunteers.

         That’s Right ! ! ! !

Volunteers, Dam-it ! ! !


vol·un·teer [vòllən tr]

n (plural vol·un·teers)

1.  somebody who works for free: somebody who works without being paid 


(past vol·un·teered, past participle vol·un·teered, present participle vol·un·teer·ing, 3rd person present singular vol·un·teers)

­­­ – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

1.  vti offer free help: to do charitable or helpful work without receiving pay for it

volunteers his time


          Now these guys do put in quite a bit ‘a time other than just fighting fires. As well, they volunteer time doing educational talks in schools, fairs ‘n wherever else they’d go for that nature ‘a thing. They also put time in to represent the community in public events such as parades, ‘n doin tours through the fire hall. Rescuing little old lady’s cats what get themselves stuck up in trees ‘n all ‘a whatever else comes with bein a member ‘a the VOLUNTEER fire fighting force. Oh, and lest we ferget the fact that they’s burnin they’s own gas in they’s own vehicles ta get ta wherever the call takes em.

          So yeah … Get this. Seems these volunteers ‘a bin takin advantage ‘a the municipality if you can imagine. While out VOLUNTEERING they’s time keepin the Fire Trucks washed, they’s bin doubling up and washin they’s own vehicles at the same time.

Shame on them ! ! !

          So now some petty bitch (oh, and I don’t reserve the term bitch to women only by the way, all-beit it was indeed a woman they was interviewin on the tele.) has rounded up a couple ‘a more equally petty people onto er bitch-bandwagon ‘n goin as far as ta say these volunteer fire-fighters is stealin from the municipality. When asked the cost to the municipality, her reply, simply, “we have no way of knowing as we’ve no idea just how much water is being used.” That and something about the strain it must surely be putting on the good folks of the community. The good folks much like herself I’m sure.

          And people wonder why I don’t make it a habit ‘a watchin the news. I’ll tell you what though. If’n it was me volunteerin my time at that fire station and the call come in to put out a house fire ‘n I find out it was the home ‘a this bitch or the home ‘a some-one else on er bitch-bandwagon, the only time I’d be volunteerin is a couple ‘a quality hours watchin a flick, say Back-draft fer instance, in front ‘a the tele while enjoyin a big ole bowl ‘a hot buttered pop-corn. …

And a tall cool jug ‘a water ! ! !


Why the hell should I care, eh?? Oh well!! … Hope ya’s all have a great Hump-day ‘n will catch ya’s later.

Oh and uhhh … A little advanced notice here … Next Wednesday I’ll be puttin in a Hump-Day Blob what you Gals may want ta have a bit ‘a chocolate handy for. Er a glass ‘a wine perhaps … A little somethin ta stimulate the senses before ya’s starts ta readin. I’s pretty sure yous’ll enjoy it. *grins*

Somethin ta look forward to …    

Ciao Fer Now …



Posted October 10, 2006 by Archie ~Grumps~ in ~ Dark Side Blobs ~

~ Suicide … A Good Day to Die ??? ~   7 comments

Although the world is full of suffering,

it is full also of the overcoming of it.

Helen Keller(1880 – 1968)

Here’s another controversial one. Suicide … What drives people to it ?? Are they brave, cowards, weak, strong, demented, sane ?? Should it be one’s own right to choose?? What exactly are the conditions in which suicide might be understandable and is there such a thing as suicide etiquette ??

I might as well touch on me thoughts of etiquette ta start off here as it’s what got me started on this in the first place. A news story out ‘a Toronto bout some clown who decided ta off himself, and made a complete debauched mess of it. So the story goes, he and his wife were splittin up and the day before the papers were to be signed for the sale ‘a the house, he decided ta take himself out, and the house with him. I’ve not heard what exactly it was that he used ta blow the place up but it blowed up real good, and in the end, the house was destroyed by the explosion and ensuing fire. The neighbours homes on both sides were damaged, one severely enough that the occupants now have to take refuge with other neighbours, and a pedestrian out fer a morning stroll was injured from the flying debris. And oh yeah … The firefighters were there and had the fire under control in time enough ta drag his still breathing sorry azz out from under all ‘a the rubble. This is not good suicide etiquette folks ! ! !

Neither is blowing yer skull open with a twelve gauge shot-gun scattering brain bits all over the walls, nor is jumpin in front of a train or transport, leaping off an overpass or tall building scattering body bits from here ta phriggin there. Indiscriminately involving and putting complete strangers at risk of injury or death such as by crossing the center line on a secondary highway to take ones self out in a high speed head on automobile collision. Not good etiquette ! ! And this thing we so often hear about with the whole “murder, suicide” thingy. Ya wanna take yer own self out, fine ! ! … What is it that has these particular people feeling that they have the right ta take out the people they see as bein the cause of they’s misery?? To be so selfish as ta even take out they’s own children?? Do they figure they’s doin em a favour?? Definitely … NOT GOOD SUICIDE ETIQUETTE ! ! !

Even a razor blade across the wrist makes more of a mess than what anyone should have ta be put into the position ‘a dealin with. Do it quietly and as cleanly as possible is what I say. It’s bad enough that some-one has ta find the body, never mind all ‘a the mess what some seem so compelled ta leave behind addin to the trauma of it all. Drownin’s not to bad a deal I spose cept it’s still an awful waste ‘a manpower and resources ta drag the lake lookin fer a body ta put in the box. Unless ‘a course ya choose not ta tell anyone where yer goin. Strap on a pair ‘a concrete booties ‘n head fer the bottom ‘a the lake would be clean enough. A couple days ‘a bein fish fodder ‘n there’d be nothin left but a small cluster ‘a bones lyin on the lake bed. The only problem with that is the surviving relative’s ‘n friend’s feelings of closure. There’d always be that nagging question eatin away at em.

Carbon monoxide works really well from what I understand. A closed space such as a garage or shed with a runnin car or lawn-mower, put some tunes on, sit back, relax, slip off into a nice long ‘n painless slumber. Fit a flex hose from the exhaust pipe ‘a the car ‘n run it into the passenger compartment. … A few minutes, and it’s all over cept fer the cryin. … Light a candle baby cause a get well card just won’t do ! ! … There’s all kind ‘a more ways but hey. The trick is ta keep it clean. Even in the case of a hangin, who wants ta be the one ta have ta lift the person up ta get the weight off so’s they can release the rope. Keep it simple so’s they can just bag ya, .. tag ya, .. drag ya to da curb ‘n get on with they’s day.

So lets see now … Just so’s ya know that I do indeed have some little bit of experience dealing with the trauma of lossin folks to suicide, thus far I’ve two brother-in-law’s have done it, another brother-in-law who’s made a few attempts (always makin sure someone knows so’s ta come ‘n save the day), a couple ‘a late friends who’ve done it, and a couple ‘a more past friends who’ve given it a try er two. Oh and then of course there was the MP Sergeant what shot his brains out in the crapper at the MP headquarters in CFB Gagetown while I was in the army and stationed there, but I didn’t know that fellow at all so wouldn’t hazard a guess as ta what that was all about. I spose that one just kind ‘a seemed nearer to me cause it was the first person to off his-self in such close proximity within the same community. I won’t go into the details ‘a any of em, just thought I should mention it is all. Call it a credibility thingy.

When ya gets right down to the nuts ‘n bolts of it, suicide is simply another cause of death. In the end, ya pretty much gots yer old age, illness, the totally unexpected with seemingly no rhyme or reason, accidents, murders, wars, and suicide. Without exception, any death comes with a certain amount ‘a pain pendin how close one is with whoever has passed, and then come the differences. With old age it seems always to be “had a good, long, full life.” Death due to illness often comes with “just as well … won’t have ta suffer any-more.” The unexpected is a whole lot ‘a “holy crap” wherein no-one can really seem ta get a handle on it (bin there once too). Accidental deaths seem often to come with the “who’s to blame” thingy and just as often as not, the ensuing law suit in an effort ta somehow make up fer the loss. Murders and wars … They’s gots ta be tough ones. Try ta find a way ta justify them ones. And then there’s suicides … Socially, there is a certain stigma and intolerance toward suicide which makes it hard to sort out ones emotions and understanding of the person and why this has happened. The blame game is a little different as it now swirls through family and friends like a whirlpool dragging everyone into the abyss with feelings of guilt, with each asking “what could I have done” and “why didn’t we see this coming”. Ultimately however, in the end it always seems to come down to “how could he/she be so selfish as to cause us all so much pain”. Personally, I find that to be even more of a selfish attitude than that of the person who doffed themselves, but hey. … That’s just my opinion.

I will admit however that it does get me onions in a bit of a bunch when I hear of young kids doin away with theyselves. That they don’t have anyone with whom they can be comfortably open and honest enough with ‘n get the required guidance ta see em through is nothing short of a damned shame ta say the least. The teens to mid twenties is of course the age group I’s referrin to here. Some like ta call em young adults, but as far as I’m concerned, they’s lack of life’s experiences hardly qualifies em as adults of any nature. That they feel of the intellectual and emotional maturity to make such a decision is to me, absolutely preposterous. I’m well aware that for some of these kids, life can be pretty tough getting through to adulthood for all kind ‘a crappy reasons, even if it’s simply a lack of guidance from they’s parents. But for others, it can be as simple as the girlfriend / boyfriend dumped me or cheated on me, so life is no longer worth living. Talk about puttin the cart ahead ‘a the donkey. It’s pretty much akin ta getting out the monopoly board, havin a quick read ‘a the instructions, and givin up before ya gets ta yer first throw ‘a the dice. Kids of this age group really haven’t even gotten through the getting raised part ‘a life, never mind puttin it all to practice and givin a go at makin a life ‘a they’s own.

Does it boil down to quality of life?? And who gets ta make the call as to what’s an acceptable quality?? We often enough hear of cases wherein someone is dealing with some amount of illness such as it comes to the point that a medical procedure is necessary to prolong a person’s life. Not necessarily a procedure which will improve the quality of a persons life, just simply prolong the misery. In some of these cases the person has requested not to receive the procedure only to later see the family overriding this decision as obviously the person is no longer of sound mind and is being perhaps a wee bit on the selfish side. {Phppppt ! ! } Not ta mention that at this point, the person most probably can’t speak fer there own self. A couple ‘a months later, there’s that person in the very condition they so desperately wanted NOT to be in. A complete and total burden who can no longer even communicate, eat, or even acknowledge that someone is standing right next to them. In such cases as these, I question what possible right do these folks figure they have to condemn someone to such an existence as this and think to myself, if it were me, these people would most surely want to hope that if I had any control of my actions in the afterlife, that I don’t hold a grudge, cause . . . DAMN ! ! !

This and so many cases much the same with our elderly in nursing homes with absolutely no discernible amount of quality of life are the ones we so often hear people in discussion admitting openly that we have more compassion for our family pets than we do for our family members. Then of course the question “why is that?”, and said in the next breath that the family pet is after all, a member of the family as well. Where’s the compassion ? ? ?

What about the bloke who’s just plain ‘n simply had enough. Mayhap someone who can just never get ahead on account ‘a havin a poor choice ‘a priorities. They say ya can’t help someone who isn’t willin ta help themselves. If a person’s choice of priorities is, lets say gambling, drinkin, ‘n drugs, Is there any thing you could do if’n this person has no will not want to change?? So here’s a person can’t keep an apartment, pay the bills, put food on the table, and of course everything they had of value bin lost to the pawn shop. Would that meet the standards of a poor quality ‘a life?? Could well be that this person even has a decent payin job and could have things pretty sweet if only fer the upset ‘a priorities. Is it ours ta say that these folks can’t just end it if they simply don’t have the will er the want ta make the necessary changes ta turn they’s lives around???

They say that some people gots a golden horse-shoe up they’s azz. How about the dude who’s horse-shoe’s made ‘a shit, and ta boot is up his azz upsidy down. There are some folks who no matter how hard they try, every time they sees a glimmer ‘a light at the end ‘a the tunnel, the tunnel collapses and smashes they’s every dream into …The Fantasy Zone ! ! ! Hey … Don’t get me wrong now. Fantasies are a good thing. Especially if’n ya gots an obtainable dream er two ta go with em. If ya don’t got an obtainable dream er two however, a bunch ‘a fantasies ain’t gonna do ya a whole lot ‘a good … Are they ?? Lets say some poor schmuck who try as he may, just couldn’t seem ta get it together with school fer that oh so important diploma, struggled from job to job all his life ta eke out a life what he could at least wear an honest smile from time ta time. Then BAM ! ! ! His wife walks out on ‘im fer someone of better social standing, takes the gold mine ‘n leaves ‘im the shaft. A month later the plant he works at for a meagre wage shuts the doors. The engine in the car bails on ‘im, and when he gets home from the auto-wrecker’s with the fifty bucks from the ole clunker in his pocket, there’s an eviction notice on the door. Yeah eh … Fun times in … The Fantasy Zone ! ! !

Even folks with a humble yet comfortable enough situation goin with the mortgage half paid, a couple ‘a sheckles stashed away fer the future, a manageable marriage. Then comes the stroke or Multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s, some bull-shyte debilitating thang what the doctors can’t even diagnose, some dumb-azz accident water-skiing er surfing rendering a person Para or even Quadriplegic. Hell … The list goes on ‘n on. And what if there’s no life insurance or ya gets turned down cause they say ya don’t meet the criteria. What if there’s plain ‘n simple no life line to be found such as a person can carry on providing fer they selves and maintaining a life with some wee little bit a’ dignity?? Sittin back watchin as everything they’s worked for thus far in they’s lives, including some little bit ‘a promise fer the future, gets whittled away over a few years turning they’s lives into nothing more than a shit-stain in the line of time.

Quality of life can be a precarious thing for some to say the least. Certainly there are those of hard times who have the gumption ta carry on. Perhaps even if only due to the uncertainty and fear of what comes next. But for those who can’t muster the gumption, aren’t afraid, or even a little more adventurous and curious of what does indeed lie ahead, is it ours to say whether they should or should not?? Is it them bein selfish for wanting to call it a day, or is it us bein selfish for expectin them to suffer through whatever pain and indignities life holds for them, and for however long simply to spare us the pain of loss??

What ever happened to that fellow what got dubbed “Dr. Death”? Dr. Kevorkian er somethin like that. Agree er don’t, in my opinion, that is a man who was providing a compassionate and kind service to those who called on him. No doubt grossly overcharging for this service, but yeah .. That’s free enterprise for ya. My understanding is that he didn’t actually flip the switch as it were, but rather provided all ‘a the necessary hardware, and put the switch in the hands of the person involved. I’m sure he had some fairly strict criteria as opposed to helpin any Tom Dick or Marry to a peaceful end, but holly crap what a stink did arise as a result ‘a him doin what he did. Far as I’s concerned, should ‘a bin a franchise!!! Put a Dr. “D.” in every major city. Why the hell not??

Here’s a little somethin fer ya’s ta think about. If there were sufficient explicable scientific proof that when we die, we all go to some happy place with fields ‘a posies, pigmy ponies, ‘n playful puppies, where whatever we wished for was ours at that moment in time. With pot plants growin in every garden ‘n souls actually greeting complete strangers without fear… Well I’s not a bettin man, but I’d be near ta layin odds that there’d be line-ups on the roof-tops of every tall building. Why not eh?? If we all knew unequivocally that we’d never want fer nothin, and ya’d never have ta lock a door behind ya again??? … Take a number ‘n wait yer turn ! ! Why would anyone havin a rough time and chronically dissatisfied and depressed in this life care ta continue through they’s sufferance if they knew with such certainty that beyond lay an existence as sweet as a never ending trickle ‘a honey?? And hey ! ! … Could ya blame em!!

For those who quite simply cannot persevere. I offer up this Vulcan prayer as recited by Tuvoc.

*yuk – yuk – yuk … I know!!!*

“May your Death Bring you the peace you never found in life.”


{A few days later}


            And here we go again ! ! Now in the news, all ‘a this shyte with this cracker head in Montreal. Here’s a kid who in his own website made public the fact that when he goes out, it’d be in a blaze ‘a gunfire. What’s he do the very next day?? Walks into DawsonCollege armed to the teeth ‘n starts firing indiscriminately ‘n without provocation, shootin at whoever was in his line ‘a sight. The cops made it there in about three minutes apparently as they was on a call right near by, engaged in a “blazing gun-fight” with the kid in which the kid ended up dead. Now the news is sayin that the cop that shot the kid only tagged him in the arm and that the kid then turned his own rifle on hisself ‘n delivered the fatal shot.




{Yet another few days later}


Charles Roberts … A 32 year old man who just two days ago (Oct 2nd), shot ‘n killed four young girls and a teacher’s aid in a one room Amish school-house down in Pennsylvania, and then took hisself out.

In a premeditated action, he walked in, released the adults ‘n all ‘a the boys, barricaded the doors, bound the young girls ‘n when the cops got there, started shootin. In a statement relayed from his wife (er widow I spose now), Charles was described as always havin bin “loving, kind, supportive, thoughtful, ‘n never said no when asked to change their kid’s diapers”.

Suicide I can somwhat understand. But this crap … I just don’t get it ! ! !



{I do believe this little comic (?) adds somewheres near to a thousand words}

Take care all … Catch me later …

Ciao Fer Now …


Posted October 4, 2006 by Archie ~Grumps~ in ~ Dark Side Blobs ~