~ You Might Be A Redneck If?? ~   10 comments



You know that look women get when they want sex? … Me neither.

Steve Martin

        I’ve for some few years now thought, and referred to meself as somewhat a redneck at heart. We all giggles ‘n grins when we hears the redneck jokes. … You might be a redneck if ya has a V-8 settin out on yer front lawn. So I, as any good redneck would, grabs the V-8 out ‘a the fridge, pours myself a glass ‘n sets it out to the yard.

        I bin corresponding with a gal in Hamilton who’s identititty will remain anonymous to protect the clinicly insane. …  Anyways, and so says she in e-mail …

 “Redneck eh? A canuck redneck…hmmmm now that is different :)”

        I’ve always considered the term redneck to be reference to more of a state ‘a being as opposed to someone indigenous to a geographic area. Figured all joking aside (we do so enjoy crackin jokes bout the simple folk), that redneck simply referred to some-one of unsophisticated ways. I mean Hey!! Who’s ta know?? A seemingly harmless lot what still enjoys drinkin they’s beer from a can, ‘n flatulating on command, right??. So tempted, I looked up “redneck” in the ole dicfictionary.

        Holy Shizz Bits Batman!!No-one’s more surprised than me kiddies!! Taboo term??? Who’d ‘a ever guessed “Redneck” was an politically incorrect, derogatory, insulting and discriminatory term twards a visible minority group!! Not ta mention of course, that it does so state that rednecks is indeed from the southern United States. Who can argue with that??And here, lookie at this!!  If’n I’m reading this right, “[From the sunburned necks of those who work outdoors in sunny climates]”, are we to believe that this definition was written, and submitted by a group ‘a uneducated, aggressively prejudiced redneck farm hands in the southern United States?? Be this the case, one might wonder just how these same good folk might write the definition ‘a, dare I say, “nigger”??

        So Ok!! … By definition at very least, if’n I’m anything at all of a redneck, I spose it’d have ta be that I’ve not much in the way of a “formal” education. I’ve removed and drank the V-8 from out on the yard, ‘n I retract my statement ‘a reference!!

*Yikes Man!! … *

No small wonder what rednecks get picked on so much. … Hey!!! I know who my father is, ‘n I know he ain’t my mothers brother, cousin, ner any other relation near or far!! 

        Some careful thought, not wantin ta be at all pretentious, ner derogatory, ‘n I’m wonderin if mayhap I’s somethin nearer to bein a bit of an country bumpkin at heart??

        That’s lookin a whole lot more kinder, and nearer the truth. … I am at heart a good bit country anyways, ‘n most definitely unsophisticated. I ain’t never yet seen a meal what I couldn’t enjoy with one fork ta choose from while sportin a pair ‘a shorts with the azz blowed out of ’em. … I’m likin it, ‘n I’m goin with it!!  Somewhat a country bumpkin at heart!!

        Hey!! Is it alright, still, ta be tellin redneck jokes???

                   Damn straight it is!!!

                Enjoy, ‘n have a great day. *grins … *

Ciao Fer Now Kiddies …  



Posted April 8, 2008 by Archie ~Grumps~ in . . . B.S. Antics

10 responses to “~ You Might Be A Redneck If?? ~

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  1. thanks for the quote (on my blog)… it was very helpful given my current state of mind. but i\’m all better now 🙂  the good thing about blogging my anger is that it helps me keep personal sanity so i can still function in a civilized manner at work.  😛
    btw i never knew "redneck" is defined with that sorta negative connotation!  now i have to leave it outta my dictionary…. ;p

  2. *snickers*…only from the Southern United states….that is halarious….*giggles* saves us from pointing it out.  o_O  *jokes people*
    Hiya Grumps…..thanks for popping by.  I know I have been icognito but you always know why…with work and all and now my pappy on top of it that…it is becoming a lot to handle right now.  But I do my best to keep on an even kilter and stay focused…and keep on smiling.
    I hope to head up there on Friday….but we shall see what the weather will be like…I may hold off .  Working these darn weekends kind of kinks things up a bit lately arranging travel etc…so I hope this interview goes well tomorrow. 
    The starting wage is pretty impressive I must say aan when I spoke to a person who trains for this she told me that they start out low on the pay scale and that they are loookig for more people right now.  I kinda probed when I was calling her to advocate for a client and asked how one gets a job doing what she does.  Then she told me she trained the person who comes in to one of the shelters I work at…and that person has been in her job for 26 years now.  Can you imagine what her pension is going to be like….heck she wants to retire soon so maybe….just maybe in time with enough training on the protocols etc  I could transition in to her position…gads I have 12 years of domestic violence knowledge under my belt so I may have a great chance! 
    So, I went to check it out and was like  o_O  are you kidding me….that is 12, 000 more than what I currently make…and that is their starting base wage.  After a while one works up to 77,000 a year.  I could live with that!  Who would want to work 2 jobs then???  Certainly not me…I want to take some classes even if it is in painting techniques for water colors or more social work general interest stuff.
    And all the learning and training I would get…I would definately stay until I retire.  Ok…I am babbling
    Conversing with a lady in Kingston huh  *winks*  Oh do tell!  I won\’t say anything I swear!
    PS/  Send some of that sunshine our way ok???We are stuck with this most of the week and it is snowing again.

  3. Teehee………….i can always count on your for a giggle here and there.  Where you be Mr. Grumps?  You\’re sadly missesd when not out and about.  Perchance does this mean there may be a lady love in your life?  Now that\’s a sweet and pleasant thought!
    Hope you are well dear man………~hugs~

  4. Thanks arch, I planted myself a right vegtable garden, I LOVE GARLIC and am growing some elephant garlic, we eat it in ust about everything as well. I planted garlic and leeks, onions of sorts around my garden to keep the rabbits and squirrels out, and then sprinkled the entire garden with caynne pepper, so far it\’s worked quite well!

  5. Lots of beautiful things grow in shade. Our lot is 220ft deep, the back part of it is forest I\’d estimate over 100 years old. We have some very nice things coming up in there. Did you know, you can buy trillum to plant now??? They apparently need some leaves on them for protection to grow back the next year, I\’ thinking I\’ll have some in my forest soon! Lots of shade means lots of trees, yeah trees! We are keeping the forest! There are lots of beautiful things that love shade, unfortunately, not vegtables!

  6. Have a good one ~Grumps~!

  7. Hello my friend….you are bloggin as much as I am…lol.   I love you photos….did you take those..cause the bee ones are hot…and so close…I am too scared too close and I always wanted a good shot of them…lol.  I would end up running and throwing my camera in the process…and my zoom does not go in that good….time for a new camera…but will put that request on my Christmas list!  lol
    So I start my new job in a couple weeks…and looks like I will be really busy!  I will keep you posted…my friend that started the same position in Medicine Hat has a very high case load and I was told to expect the same thing….I said I will if  you increase my wage up a level or two!
    What did yo do over this supposedly long weekend for some?  I did not camp or nothing….just did a lot of catch up with friends…so I had a good weekend all in all…and today I took it easy. 
    Have a great Canada Day tomorrow!  I am working at 4pm so I will miss all the excitement.

  8. Hey buddy… Loves the blog… I am a bumpkin & a redneck at heart….. I don\’t think either is politically incorrect and damned I think that term should be eliminated "Politically Incorrect"  Somewhere in there "freedom of speech" is being tested.. hmmmmmmm makes one wonder doesn\’t it…
    Huge hugs

  9. Hi Grumps, just thought I\’d stop in and see how you\’re doing. I just looked through the new pics, very nice, really like the bird one especially. Had a good chuckle over this blog as well.
    I\’m off to go finish waking up with my cup of java now. Take care and have a good one! Hugs, Robyn

  10. Got here from Bob\’s space. I always enjoy redneck jokes, being from the South….I like the way you write, gotta go now, but plan to visit again, GreatGranny A

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