~ Drive it Like Ya Stole It!!! ~   10 comments




                         B&W Trash Cans

Not ta worry CNR!! … Mother Nature ‘ll be more than Happy ta take care ‘a that fer ya!!!

Ya rolls up the windows, locks the doors, gots the keys in yer pocket, … and ya figures yer car is safe???

Is funny how late in life we learn about respect fer the property ‘a others. Some more so than others I spose, or some worse than others, pendin what way ya wants ta look at it. Ranging from egging bedroom windows. ta grand theft auto. Oh yeah!! Ya hear ‘a these kids stealin peoples vehicles ta go on little joy rides, ‘n wonder just how do these little buggers manage ta steal a car right out ‘a the driveway so quickly, ‘n without gettin caught. Not ta mention, without the friggin Keys!!! These kids even have a list ‘a which cars is the easiest ta boost fer crap sakes. Go figure!!

A bud ‘a mine, Johnny from Johnny’s Deli, and not to very long ago, did have that very thing happen right out in his very own lane way. An 1991 S-15 GMC Jimmy. Locked up, buttoned up, ‘n seemingly, safe as a bug in a rug. One minute it’s there, ‘n the next it ain’t. Fortunately, his Jimmy did get found, ‘n other than the damage caused from the break in, looks like they didn’t have any altercations with other vehicles, or standing objects the like ‘a trees ‘n such. Wasn’t too very much gas in it, so they didn’t get too far fore they run out ‘a motion lotion, ‘n coasted into the nearest parkin lot.

So, how do they do it ya asks??? With a small hammer, ‘n a screw driver near as we could tell after havin a good look at it. First things first, ya gots ta circumvent the door lock. Apparently, alls ya have ta do is punch the screwdriver through the door skin near to,  just right of bottom center ‘a the door lock, ‘n give it a twist so’s ta turn yer little cut into an open slotted groove. Then a crack ‘a the screwdriver into the key slot ‘a the lock,  give it a twist ta get the guide through the handy little slot, ‘n pry the lock out ‘a the door. From there is simply a matter ‘a pushin up or down on the locking linkage to lock, or unlock the door. I figure about 15 ta 30 seconds, ‘n the perpetrator is already sittin cool in ‘is stool behind ‘a the wheel ‘a Your car.

With trusted hammer in hand, smash the upper steering column collar by the turn signal switch, and the lower collar nearer to the dash ta allow access to the linkage which unlocks the steering, the transmission, starts, ‘n runs the engine along with all ‘a the accessories. Some pryin, yankin, twistin, ‘n breaking the connection between the ignition switch linkage, and the finale linkage what does all ‘a the work. Now alls ya gots ta do, is push the finale linkage forward till the vehicle starts, ‘n let it return out to the run position. Probly less than two minutes in total.

Look Ma!!! No Keys!!!!


And away they goes, drivin it like they stole it!!

So anyway’s, Johnny manages ta get a new steering column from a bud who just happens ta have an ole Jimmy hangin about fer spare parts, ‘n we does the big removal ‘n replacement routine. Went surprisingly well actually. We didn’t have ta go back ta the parts counter three times, ‘n it didn’t take three phreakin days!! A couple a bits ‘a frustration, but quite the easy deally all in all.

My guess is that were it a professional, there’s not much you can do ta keep yer vehicle safe. When it comes to these "joy riders" however, I am of the thinkin that one ‘a them "Club" devices would go a long ways twards keepin yer car right where ya parked it. These joy rider kids not likely carry a full complement ‘a tools about with ’em, ‘n I’m bettin if’n they looked in yer car, ‘n seen the "Club" on yer steerin wheel, they’ll be off ta the next lane way in a heartbeat. For Johnny!! … Lesson learned!! He now has a Club on the wheel. *grins*

On the lighter side, … At one point durin the procedure, I was takin a little resty poo, chattin with ~Brenna~ in the back ‘a the Jimmy, when she says fer me ta check out this little spider millin about on the hood. One ‘a them tiny little furry dudes what look somethin like a crab, ‘n jumps about like greased lightning when they gets in a hurry. Pretty cool lookin little guy, so I take off to da Bunker ta get me Camera ta see if’n I can get a couple ‘a shots of ‘im.

IMG_0153,spider,crop      IMG_0161,Spider,crop

At first, the little bugger weren’t too big on me bein there pizzin in ‘is Wheaties, ‘n was spiderin his fuzzy butt away from me makin it a challenge ta get a decent shot. After a couple ‘a minutes ‘a "Mother May I", the little critter started ta standin it’s ground. Lookin me right in the eye, ‘n posturin some wee bit liken as if ‘e was threatening me ta get the Hades away from ‘is condo.

 IMG_0158spider,crop     IMG_0159,spider,crop

After a bit, He had closed right in on me, ‘n I was linin up ta get a real nice face on shot ‘a the little dude. It was just as I was takin the shot when I noticed me friendly neighborhood arachnid start movin right towards me!!!


Bare in mind now!! …

Thus far, even with the macro, all ‘a these shots I’ve had to crop a fair bit ta get this spider ta fill the picture. This next shot however, needed no cropping what so ever!!! …

IMG_0163,Spider Leap,Auto Levels

My thought is that this guy must be a member of the ~jumping spider~ genus. As I was peering through the view screen, ‘n takin this last shot, I watched as this little shyte leapt from the hood ‘a the Jimmy in an offensive strike attack on the camera lens. Man oh Man!! I’m tellin ya what kiddies!! Lookin through the view screen, It looked as though this thing was aimin ta gnaw me face off. It startled me so, upon seein it get larger than life in the screen, that I reeled backywards, saved from fallin flat on me azz through taking the rear view mirror ‘a the old grey pick-me-up truck parked arrear ‘a me, right square, ‘n centered in me back. That’s why here at da Bunker, we say …

No Teasing ‘a the Wildlife!!!

Well, that and, …

Keep hands ‘n arms Clear ‘a the Cage!!!

Off ta get some more Java inta me Kiddies. Will catch ya’s all later.

Ciao Fer Now …

PS: No arachnids gots they’s eyelids crushed durin the making ‘a this blob.   *giggles ‘n grins*



Posted September 30, 2007 by Archie ~Grumps~ in ~ Dark Side Blobs ~

10 responses to “~ Drive it Like Ya Stole It!!! ~

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  1. ha ha haaa haa…oh my gawd o_O  I would have been so freaked out if a spider did that to me…I would have pee\’d my pants fersure let me tell ya…and broke my camera in the process, cause it would have went one way while I went the other!!!!!!  Fast like!
    Thanks for sharing that and the car breaking in thingy some wanna be thug may have just learned how to break into a car….*giggles*  Now I am gonna go get a club fersure!
    Life has been the same hum drum stuff…I went to the part time job on Sunday..some little greenhorn there changed the schedule when she worked the previous night and had the front desk wondering why I was there hence two counsellors on shift.  I told the front desk people I am covering for Tammy so she can do her term papers and study for her exam..he said Miss Bimbo was upstairs and she said she was working the day shift. 
    Heck I only offered because Tammy was working the day shift.  I checked the schedule friday night to double check…and Tammy checked Saturday during her shift that yes she was (but I was) working the day shift.
    I found out that little greenhorn was going to play stupid again (she is good at playing niaeve to brown nose) and say the schedule said she was to work the day and me the evening.  Hummmpht…like I just fell off the turnip truck or sumthin…HA!  I brought up the schedule again and indeed it had changed. 
    So I check properties….and VOILA…it had been modified not even 40 mins after she had a conversation with Tammy on the phone on Saturday night.  I never even bothered to talk to her to confront her studpidity…I print screened the properties showing the date of modification, and emailed it to the supervisor…informed her  I left as there is never 2 counsellors on on one shift on weekends.  And said there would be no one to cover the 3-11pm evening shift now because I am not doing it and to take it up with Miss Greenhorn who thought she was so smart to change the schedule and try to make it look like I was in error….obviously she is not very computer savy.
    Anyways…I digress…that is when I found out I had been scheduled to work various weekends and all friday evenings..when I thought I was phased out.  The Sup phones me yesturday…says I told the housing manager we could not make the shedule work without Tammy and me…and we need you.  I am rollingmy eyes at this point because I know they offered greenhorn the f/t position that was originally mine before I quit f/t (they have not been able to keep anyone…lol)  Anyways Greenhorn states she would accept underconditions…all time conditions as she was to be working 3-11  Mon-fri ( new scheduling….lmbo).  I know they only kept me on because they needed someone to cover greenhorns demands…
    I told her point blank I have handed my resume to two places if they call me and want me I am gone…I will work until that happens.  She said good enough….I have an interview tomorrow….can\’t get out of there soon enought…to much negatory stuff there.
    WOWSERs…long story….oh well give people something to read.
    Have a great rest of the week Grumps!
    {{{HUGS}}}} and smilez

  2. LOL @ the making of this blob!!!!  YOu so make me laugh Mr. Grumps.
    I hear ya about the car theft thing.  The other night after leaving my son\’s hockey game, we noticed one of the RCMPs taking pictures of some cars.  Turns out some darlin\’ little teenagers took it upon themselves to take a sharp object and dig love notes *coughnastymeancommentscough* into a few vehicles.  They didn\’t get mine…..lucky for them….but they did get some out of towners that were just there to watch the game.  Talk about embarassing, oh well, unfortunately I guess it happens everywhere, which the dear owner of the one vehicle reminded me.  Very kind of them, but how sad is that that we feel we have to accept the way these things happen!
    Can I just say…..I reallyyyyyyyyyyyyy could have lived without the pictures!  Eeeeekkkkk!!!  I\’m sure I would have piddled myself had I been on the other end of that camera.  Hubby used to have a Tarantula when I first met him, his name was "Duke"…..after John Wayne….yep hubby is a HUGE fan of the Dukes!  Anyway, he figured it suited the furry bug, as he was a "slowwww moverrrrr" just like the Duke.  I made him pile hockey pucks on the lid to make sure he couldn\’t get out, when he got big enough that he could make the lid move anyway, I told the hubby……it\’s the Duke or me!!!!!!!!!!  He musta preferred my fur……as the Duke got his walking papers 🙂
    Thanks for your kind words Grumps…..and for not heeding my "ignore this paragraph", cause I liked what you had to say, but then that\’s no surprise……you\’ve got a way with kind words.  Thank you for understanding how I felt, and it helped to know someone out there might feel the same way I do about it all.  Not to say I\’d never whine now and then, but somehow, I just feel worse afterwards.  Your the best Grumps, I really hope you know that 🙂 ~hugs~
    Have a wonderful weekend……….

  3.    Hello Arch ! Great to be back and visting my friends again.Lots of catchin\’ up to do.See that you could become a cast member of "Gone In Sixty Seconds".Quite a bit of facts on "the how to rip" a persons\’ car.Hate to put a bump in your froends way,but the wheel lock is completely useless.It adds approx. 2 seconds more to steal the car.People figure it\’s made of steel and it can\’t be broken,that part is true.Ready for the kicker,….a hacksaw cutting through the actual steering wheel itself,allows the bar to be removed,and the steering wheel is still functional.Regarding my becoming M.M.B.D. blog,that part of my life inspired the names of my various Space characters.Tweak was what I used to do with drugs,Unckle Kracker was a mental patient as I was when I overdosed,and Evil Klown is what I could of become,if I kept following that lifestyle.Who says there isn\’t any truth in humor…..Have a great evening and a super weekend.Be good to you,and …………….PEACE.

  4. omg GRRRRR to car thieves…amen all turned out somewhat ok!  LOL to that spider commentary, loved it, as always! Just popping in hun to wish you a very HAPPY THANKSGIVNG, and I\’ll save you some dessert 😉 *still shuddering at those spider pics, ewie* Take care YOU, have a great week end…hugssssssssssss , sneaks in a kiss too 😛

  5. Hey Arch,just to let you know,someone is kinda back an\’ hangin\’ on my space.His legacy is kinda along the lines of …..
    Did you hear about the man who can\’t be destroyed?
    He keeps coming back.
    Shh…..did you hear that ?
    M.M.B.D.™  (Mighty Mighty Big Dirtbag ) has been hackafied and klownified.Oh yeah,and peace on him !
    Evil Klown™

  6. Hey Arch,Captain Kirk here,full warp speed ahead.Hope you didn\’t take too many notes,or I just leaving a comment on an unoccupied space.LOL.As for the look and feel of my Space,it was a moment of sheer genius combining those two elements…….actually it was an accident.Didn\’t notice it,until you pointed it out.LOL ! Think I will make a trip today to the "House Of Beers",and get a box of suds.Amazing when a six pack would last minutes,now it lasts weeks.Me getting older…..hell no ! Have a good weekend by friend.Good to see you "blobbin" again.Peace.

    What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy there would be 10 moments of sadness? What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life. I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you. Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you. Let old friends know you haven\’t forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will. Remember, everyone needs a friend. dint ever leave the one u love for the one u like, because the one u like will leave u for the one they love.If you wake up in a red room with no windows and doors, DON\’T panic.. you\’re just in my heart!!! Send this to all the friends you want to keep forever…
    Today is Best friend Day. Send this to all of your friends, and me if I am one.

  7. Howdy Arch!
    Thanks for my B-Day wishes! It\’s ok that it was a bit late…Lord only knows that I\’m late writing you back so I more than forgive you hon…just please forgive me too. I\’m gonna see about posting a new Blog on here today complete with pictures of our painted upstairs Den so at least that will be something new for everybody to look at….LOL!
    Glad you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and you\’re more than welcome for the Thanksiving good wishes. As you know we have ours here next month and we have invited the whole family down to Carlisle for it. Can we say…… cooking my ass off? LOL! YIKES! Oh well….I really don\’t mind. At least it will save us the traveling up to Lewistown. That\’s a real blessing with the way the gas prices keep going up!
    Anyway…I Hope all is well with you hon and I\’ll do my best to speak at you again soon! HUGS!
    Love & Blessings,

  8. Hi Archie, just swinging by to see what\’s new. I noticed you put some Shrek pics up….looks like me in the morning. lol
    Take care, *hugs*, Robyn

  9. the spider was way cool for sure,.. i knew ya would like it hun,..**smiles**  and as for the car (truck) theives,…why oh why can\’t i bring my gun into the damm city??? riddle me that,..!!!<<>>> lmao,.. and hey,.. are you sure i\’m not out in da bunker  right this very second getting a even HIGHER score??? lmfao
    ((HUGGGZZZZZZ)),.. brenna

  10. Hi Archie, my sense of humour is good, so if you still want to send me the link for Shrek and Fiona\’s wedding, I\’m game. lol
    Have yourself a good weekend! *hugs* Robyn

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