~ Commercials!!! … Sheesh!!! ~   14 comments

 
                           
 
      
 
 

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

Stephen Leacock (1869 – 1944)

 

        Commercial television … Ya gots ta love the stuff eh. Not that I watch a lot ‘a television. In fact, I really don’t watch that much of it at all. I do generally switch back ‘n forth, ussually when the commercials come on, between the mornin news programs on city TV out of Toronto, and ‘A’ channel here in London while I enjoy my mornin java, but not very often do I tune in for say a movie, or regularly scheduled sitcoms. Well, I only have “Easter Bunny Ear” antenna {yes  … Easter is comin kiddies}, so the program schedule at the Bunker is rather limited I spose you could say. When it comes to the selection ‘a commercials available fer me ta watch, with a little bit ‘a programming in between, bein as I only get six channels is such I spose as I can’t expect ta get all that much diversity. On the other hand, with as little television as I watch, one might think I’d not be driven quite so batty at seein the same ones over and over again. Relentlessly, persistently, obtrusively, ruthlessly, conspicuously, ‘n blatantly bombarding us to the point that havin ta sit through even the best ‘n funniest of commercials is enough ta make us wanna hurl chunks inta yer popcorn bowl.

        So Wednesday night I’s doin a “little” channel surfin ta see what’s on at 21:00h, and whoa ‘n behold, there’s an old 99 flick starring Arnold Schwarzenegger comin on. {gotta be careful not ta trip over yer fingers on that one . *grins*} “End Of Days” fer them of ya’s what knows it. It’s a pretty good flick evolving around the whole good versus evil thingy in which Arny, in the end, throws himself upon a sword forsaking his own life ta send the Devil straight ta Hell in a handcart, thus saving humanity from … You guessed it …

The End Of Days!!

        Ohhhhh My Gawd!!! The phuckin commercials!!

        Ya reaches fer the remote, wistfully thinkin ya can fast forward through the agony of it. Not ta be however, as ya tosses it back down watchin the batteries pop out ‘a it ‘n roll to the floor. So ya fires up another phatty ta get ya through, in hopes that it’ll make these intrusive commercials a little mo tolerable ta sit through. Man oh Man!! The same set ‘a commercials over, ‘n over again, insulting yer intelligence each time ya sees em comin across the screen. I don’t know bout you, but there are only so many times during the length of a movie what I’ve the need ta go ‘n shoot a pizz. All ‘a these insufferable commercial intermissions are quite more than what’s necessary I’m thinkin, and all ‘a this grief in the name ‘a the all mighty “Tin God”The all mighty DOLLAR!!!

        So then!! … My pick fer all time worst commercial?? I can honestly say that this is one instance I can be thankful fer havin a memory like a friggin sieve. I mean Hey!! Who needs that kike rattlin through they’s attic every day. Gots a couple ‘a present time worst what certainly is in the runnin fer all time worst though. Is there anyone on the planet who hasn’t heard ‘a this new sitcom, “Ugly Betty”?? … Yeah, that’s what I thought!! I don’t think I can go twenty minutes ‘a watchin the tube without bein assaulted with a commercial promoting this show. I get so nauseous with these commercials bein force fed ta me, …

WHERE’S THAT POPCORN BOWL AT??

        As a result, I’ve positively, absolutely, unequivocally no interest what-so-ever ta tune into this show. Ugly Betty commercials??? Please … Just shoot me!!

        Then of course there’s the myriad ‘a commercials fer “City Line” hosted by Marilyn Denis. This woman is nothin less than a screen junky. Just can’t get enough ‘a herself, ‘n figures neither can we. Amongst all ‘a whatever else she does, is her main gigs of hosting the “CHUM FM” morning radio show before “zipping” {I don’t make this shizz up .. it’s right in her bio.*grins*} down ta “City TV” ta host popular television talk show, “City line”. Home improvements, fashion, design, cosmetics, diet, exercise clubs, 20 minute full course meals, you name it! Everybody needs it, everybody can do it, ya can’t do without it, who wouldn’t want it, and of course, everybody can afford it … That’s right Marilyn. Everybody’s a phuckin millionaire! This is a show what’s on I don’t know how many channels, er how many times per day, and seven days ‘a the week. I can’t hardly surf through all six ‘a me channels at any givin time without seein ‘er smug mug gracin the screen ‘n chasin me from the room. 

THEY DON’T NEED TA ADVEERTISE IT!!!  

 

        Marilyn Denis ‘n City Line commercials??? 

Shoot me Twice!!!

Make good damn ‘n sure I ain’t breathin so’s I don’t have ta suffer through another one ‘a these hideous commercials!!

        How’s about a couple ‘a current commercials I’ve not quite gotten sick ‘a yet, and what still make me chuckle some. Lets see. … I still get a chuchle out ‘a that one fer some water filtration system where there’s a glass ‘a water on the counter, ya hears the toilet flush ‘n the water in the glass starts ta spiral down and then fills up again synchronized ta the flush ‘a the toilet. The woman comes strollin out ‘a the water closet as the caption says, "Did you know you’re drinking the same water you flush your toilet with??" Tell me that these ad people don’t know how ta play on folk’s mental imagery. Man I wish folks would stop drinkin out ‘a me terlit!!! It makes it hard ta flush down the big kahuna, ‘n me plunger’s out on loan, dammit!!!

        Then there’s the one fer some online gambling gig. It’s the one where the wife comes drivin up the laneway with the front left fender all beat ta hell, ‘n proceeds ta tell the hubby that it was a meteor … “again!!” The commercial in whole sucks dead bear butt, cept I still get a kick out ‘a that one line the wife says with ‘er best poker face in regards ta the meteor “supposedly” whackin her car. “It misses Mars … It misses the Moon … It hits my Car!!!… I think I’ll be able ta watch this one once er twice more times fore I gets ta reaching fer the popcorn bowl.

        One ‘a me favourites ‘a all time?? It’s a commercial fer one ‘a the whiskeys. Quite possibly Canadian Club er somethin. Who doesn’t remember this one where they take ya on a whirlwind journey to some local pubs in a bunch ‘a different countries, with a group ‘a folks in each one watchin a soccer match on the television??? What a great commercial that one was. I know of no other commercial where the entire globe shuddered with such hilarity, ‘n excruciating sympathy pain in the same heart beat as when in this commercial, buddy got kicked right square in the kahonies.

 

*shudders … Tee-he-he-he* How could ya help not ta laugh ‘n cry at the same time?? *grins*

        There’s bin a bunch ‘a good ones, but with the frequency with which they air ‘em, it’s not long before they go from entertaining ta tedious, floating in through one ear, ‘n wafting out the other. Hopefully makin they’s way through without makin a stop off ta garnish the popcorn. As fer the ones what are nothin more than crap right out ‘a the gate?? … Low budget, poorly acted, useless product, embarrassingly unimaginative tripe!!! These are the ones what show incontestably, that the all mighty dollar comes oh so far ahead ‘a integrity, quality ‘a content, decency, ‘n self respect when it comes to the folks in the marketing departments who would dare ta consider puttin em on the air. Now if y’all will excuse me, I think I’ll go slam a DVD inta the player, sit back ‘n relax, and not watch any friggin commercials fer the next little while.

 

Ciao Fer Now Kiddies …

Take care, stay warm, n’ never keep anything heavy within arms reach while yer watchin commercial TV

 

         

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Posted January 26, 2007 by Archie ~Grumps~ in . . . B.S. Antics

14 responses to “~ Commercials!!! … Sheesh!!! ~

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  1. lol…we are getting lot\’s of snow here…
    :o) smiles easy to give away they are free… :o) very contagious… :o) so pass one to anyone … :o) to people that you love… :o) and even to those you don\’t… :o) in no time the whole world will be smiling :o)

  2. Hey Archie…Thanks for sharin the pics, and a laugh. I hope you have an enjoyable weekend. Angela.

  3. hey, thank for stoppin by, even though I was off traipsing around a tropical island…
     
    holiday was freakin awesome, wish I didnt have to come home….
     
    have a good one.

  4. Well OMG.. that is an email, a journal entry and a letter to the editor in a blog.  I really think my dear.  You should try and get some of this writing of yours put in the paper.  Try locally first.  Just a suggestion.  I really do think you have what it takes my dear.
     
    As for commercials.  Yes I get driven nuts.  But there are some out there that just make me crack up that I have tears running down my cheeks.  Now commercials on the radio have gotten all up in my face lately.  However, I did hear one yesterday for Smirnoff that had me in fits.  I can\’t remember the entire long winded list of things that could happen to you while drinking smirnoff.  But one was " Caution – drinking too access could result in pregnancy."  MY goodness….. LOL……
     
    Thank you for your nice condolences on my site about my cut up self esteem.  I am so over it now.  One needs to see the ruthlessness i others too kow the greatness of your heart.  Or that is how I see it anyways.  Well John wants me to check and see if he has posted to you lately as he doesn\’t want you to think he is ignoring you as he told me he likes you.  Ahhhh isn\’t he just the cutest.  Well I think he is so there.. LOL.
     
    Huggles my friend.  I hope saturday night is treating you well.
    kari

  5. Arch,
     
    Long ago I switched to CBC radio as they are commercial free and have been for years.  I got to the point where I could no longer stand, constant annoying chatter on commercial radio.  Especially the commercials and contests.  It was a hard swtich for me, but once I got used to it, now I could never go back.  Took 6 months really. 
     
    Take care,
     
    John

  6. wow, your one awesome guy!

  7. Hi Grumps, I love your blogs. That last one cracked me up, it was so funny. I know just what you mean about Marilyn what\’s her name? She really is a bit much. lol Talk to you soon. 🙂

  8. Okay buddy.  Where\’d ya go.  Where ya been? Who\’d ya see?  I was over for a cup of java and beat on your door til my knuckles bled.  LOL
     
    come out come out where ever you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
    Huggles
    kari

  9. Hey Arch……..time to come out of hiding. No time off for you in blogland. Your friends miss you………..

  10. Hey you! I can\’t say that I do have a fav commercial..I usually don\’t watch or listen to them..when I\’m watching tv..which is not very often..I always mute the commercials..lol..its not like listening to a commercial is going to make me run out and buy something…geez..they think that we are all robots or something..lol..anyhow..thanks for dropping by..you had another great blob as usual! xox
     
    Roxy

  11. Hey you
     
    where ya hiding.. are you out there smoking and watching TV… come on buddy…. step away from the commercials and come and write a little hey.. I miss ya dude..
     
    kari

  12. No rest for the wicked eh Grumps….*gigglez*…after punching out that blog your good to go for all of February! 
     
    Commercials…ahhh …ya too many and some good eye rollerz.  There is this one I seen for the first time this week of some choc fudge pudding you heat up in the micro…and this chick is getting on an elevator and sounds like she is having moment,  while this guy is watching her and he looks all bewildered..then 2 more ladies get on and they are all doing it?? 
     
    Like WTFluff???  Thank goodness some kids are too young to understand…to me if I had a man over *I think I remember what that is*  I would be totally embarassed…*rolls eyez* So ya…most of the time those commercials give me time to run around doing oddz and endz of housework…*gigglez*
     
    Did I see you mention roll a phatty???  *gg* do you really do that?? or you speaking a rollie aka: cig  roflmbo
     
    Well have a super duper weekend sweets…..*smilez*  & {{{{HUGGLEZ}}}}
     
    Tracie

  13. Hey Archie,
    hope all is well.. Just thought I\’d drop in and say hi!

  14. go on you tube . com and  punch in "knee in my package" lol You\’ll get a kick out of it, hey, you can watch Rick Mercier, Dr Who little mosque on the prairie, degrassi, what else more do you want? I got a zillon channels, and often there still ain\’t nuttin on!
    Thank GOD I stumbled into ARCHIES BUNKER!Dan cyberkillers
    katt

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