~ The Big ‘ O ‘ ~   12 comments


    Although I’m sure any ‘a the fellas what happen by will no doubt enjoy this read …  I spose If I was to say … This one here is most definitely, more so fer the gals. …

So … Gals ! …  

     Before ya’s go reading too much further here, Ya might wanna go ‘n get yerself some chocolate if’n ya gots any. Or perhaps a nice glass ‘a wine er somethin. Have a wee toot if ya feel so inclined, and are of the means. *grins*  Something sweet to stimulate yer senses.

               Somethin ta stimulate yer sensuality …


                         Allrighty Then … If’n yer ready …. Read On !!

I can remember when the air was

clean and sex was dirty.

George Burns(1896 – 1996)


Thought I’d have a little fun here and test my powers of observation … I bin considerin writin this one up for quite some time now, and have been havin a heck of a time figuring just how to go about it.

A description of a Woman’s orgasm, least ways as near as I can describe it. With any luck, this’ll be an account ‘a the kind of orgasm what’d have a gal still trembling and somewhat weak-kneed the following mornin. The big “Bang Zoom, to the Moon … to, through and dancing round the rings of Saturn” type Orgasm. The kind what gives credence to the inadequate age old answer …

“Don’t worry  … You’ll know!!! 

Different strokes fer different folks I spose, but from my experience, the most maddening orgasms I’ve ever seen a woman endure were through an amalgamation of oral, mechanical and just for the hey of it, bring on a small vibrator such as the pink pocket rocket to spice things up just a little wee bit. … Well OK!! …

A  great big  little wee bit.

I’ll forego the preliminaries and as well, I spose I should mention that this is not intended to be a play by play of method, but rather just the pink meat  * mMmmmmmmmmmmm*  and potatoes, the end result. So let’s get right down to it so’s ta speak, and oh yeah. Lest we ferget … “She smells just like a flower when she’s fresh out of the shower”. I spose of course that this no doubt would apply to both sexes, but hey … I just figure that to be pretty much a given. I mean hey … Ya wouldn’t go stuffin a duck into the oven without first pluckin ‘n scrubbin it a bit now … Would ya???

The Road to ‘Ohhhhhh’ …


      In the beginning, it starts out just a little wee spot. A spark in the center ‘a your very being, growing teasingly much the same as a sparkler teases at the night’s sky. Anticipation along with a certain apprehension of what’s to come set in. Comforting warmth begins to permeate in small waves reaching outwards towards already bracing extremities. As this warmth grows and consumes, patterns of thought become erratic and clouded. A lifetime worth of woes and responsibilities begin to melt away leaving only now, and the very near future to be of any affair. As it naturally progresses gaining strength and intensity, you experience uncontrollable convulsions as the waves begin to quicken and cluster, rolling through your body taking you repeatedly into the swells of ecstasy, near to the edge, and then back again in what already seems nigh as much as you can endure. In the heat of the moment, you take solace in the coolness of the sweat permeating from your every pore. There is nowhere to go and nowhere you would rather be as these undulations take possession of your heart and soul, vanquishing all want and will, resigning you to do anything other than lay animated reveling in the euphoria unleashed from within.



      There seems to me a moment, however brief, much akin to the eye of the storm. A moment of perfect calmness in which it seems as though all of this energy focuses back to the epicenter, during which there is certain clarity of only one single thought. In this moment of tranquility, there is only the knowledge that this titan of excruciating pleasure is about to be released. As swiftly as this moment came, you just as swiftly feel it stripped away. You can feel the titan growing within you, both in it’s size and intensity as you try fervently to hold back and control the beast within. With every muscle in your body tightening ‘n convulsing, attempting to hold on to something, and too, push away at the same time. … It is that moment of … 

“Oh God !!! … Nooooooooooo !!!” 


      This is a time in which yer world comes apart!! This is the time sensuality and sexuality are colliding in perfect harmony with such force and in such a fashion as to seemingly form its own universe in which you are hurled helplessly, erratically, and relentlessly throughout at the mercy of the gravity welling up from each of its many suns. Enduring tidal spasm after tidal spasm, voraciously tearing at every nerve ending from the tips of your fingers to the tips of your toes as each wave envelopes you from within and consumes your entirety. You struggle hopelessly against the turbulence until the last of your strength, writhing feverishly with little to no concern for up, down, left, and right to the incessant prodigious torrent of the tempest in an attempt to break free of this force which must surely feel as though to tear you apart.                     

      Slowly the storm begins to wane. The feeling of total mental and physical exhaustion set in as the mind has reached it’s bounds of processing the deluge of sensory input while at the same time, trying to stave off the inevitable. All of this celebrated madness ebbs away, replaced with a sense of tingling numbness from apex to nethermost as you lay collapsed, arid, gasping for breath with scarcely enough energy left within you to utter the words “Holy Shyte!!!” You attempt to lift an arm in an effort to reach out, … and giggle as it falls insensibly to your side. 


Now, if’n a fella can hang in there throughout all ‘a this, he might aught to be signin up fer the rodeo circuit, and tryin ‘is hand in the bronco and bull ridin competitions.

Hmmmmm …. Where’s my wranglers at??? …   


So now, if ya’ll will excuse me …. I’ve ta go ‘n have a smoke!!

Perhaps as well, I might just give some though to brunch.

Something sweet. … Something warm. … Something wet. …


A little wishful thinkin there??         … Me thinks, yeah!!


Have a super fabtabulous Hump Day ‘n will catch ya’s later.

Ciao Fer Now …    ~Grumps~




Posted October 18, 2006 by Archie ~Grumps~ in . . . B.S. Antics

12 responses to “~ The Big ‘ O ‘ ~

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  1. Quite a blog there bunk!
    I need a smoke now, lol
    As for the WHO//Gallactica, I know Gallactica ia replayed again during the week, who is not looks like you\’ll need to do some planning! hee hee

  2. Wow….that is like sitting and listening to someone who is hooked on crack when they discribe their first time…hence the reason they get hooked because their chasing that 1st high.  Which I might add, is suppose to be like a orgasm but magnified 50,000 times…so no wonder ppl get hooked …but the sad thing about it all is they never get back there…and some die trying.
    Intresting blog Grumps….not what i am use to from you but good none the less *winks*….lol.
    Love the new look here…change is hard for some…lol…the space thingy ya got going…as long as it works for you that is all that counts right?  Thanks for staying in touch even when you weren\’t blogginf….your a real true blue soul, I think the Lord indeed broke the mold when you were created…muwhaaaaaaah

  3. Holy Shit!!!! That was an awesome blog! LOL! I\’m left speechless and it takes a lot for me to get that way. LOL! Ok now where are my cigarettes? LOL! This really put a smile on my face hon. Thanks for that! I just wished I could have gotten here yesterday to read it but I was on thego all day yesterday….had to take my daughter for some tests at the hospital before work. Hope you had a great Hump Day yourself yesterday and here\’s hoping the weekend gets here soon! LOL! HUGS!
    Love & Blessings,

  4. that there blog got me all sweated up. I don\’t smoke…but I just might need one now! lol

  5. ~eyes glazed over almost drooling~…wow!…thats always fun..cept when u finally open your eyes and see the neighbours watching you….so all u can di is smile and wave…LOL
    see ya around arch!

  6. Let me guess………….you examined a woman in her throws of passion once or twice ~wink~
    Glad you popped over, even gladder you enjoyed the story…….I\’ve been told life is never dull with me around…….hmmm wonder if that was meant as a compliment or not LOL!
    Have a great friday!  ~hugs~

  7. rotflmfao,..omg,..rotflmfao,….oh arch,…lmao,…dammit,..right when i just get done tellin ya i quit,..now i need one super duper bad
    thanks for the help round ma happy place arch,..your the greatest hun

  8. Hey Archie,
    Thanks for the visit, I have plans to see Michaela this weekend to give the Foster Mom a break so the well wishes helped alot, thanks so much.
    Thanks as well for the Blob about terbulance and spasms, Good to know "Holy Shyte" remains on the menue. I\’ll have what your having….mabe seconds?
    *sigh* better go….C ya later from Angela

  9. thank you sir,…may i please have another,..lmao
    ohhh,…come on,…just one,….puff,…..just one,…..

  10. Just stopping by to hay hi & have a good weekend Grumps.

  11. YIKES, i didnt quite make it here on Wednesday eh? But thats a good thing, i have been under the weather for over a week now, and im on the road to recovery now, lol so i can thoroughly enjoy this! Im working up a sweat here Arch, lol OMG! do I remember how THAT feels. (sighs…..) You sure know how to get the blood pumpin, lol NOW i need a cigarette, hellya, thanks a bunch arch, lol, ( off she trots to find her "friend" lol) not quite the same, but hey, who am i to argue with " THE POWER!"lol anyway sweetie, its been a long drawn out week for me, im hitting the hay right after i visit Bren. hope you are having an awesome weekend, huge hugs

  12.    hi archie
         now you DID IT, you got me all sweate and my husband is sleeping
           whats a girl to do   ( NOW)         HUGS AND KISSES TESS XX

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