~ Social Studies 103 ~   6 comments



Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.

Abraham Lincoln (1809 – 1865), Lincoln‘s Own Stories

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Certificate of birth .. Hall passes ta go fer a pizz .. Social insurance numbers ta keep track ‘a our every move .. Diplomas to prove how intelligent we each are? .. Certificates ‘n Licenses to allow us to partake and provide in activities and services .. Permits .. Applications .. Approvals .. Sick notes ta prove the vomiting wasn’t our imagination .. And of course a death certificate in case the stench of our rotting corpse Ain’t enough to prove we’s indeed dead. 


Is no small wonder that there is this common almost unbeknownst tendency to fall back on the legalities and politics of the marriage and as well the certificates. It still seems to be that little piece which makes it all real to us.


It is an example of an effective brainwashing of an entire society on a global basis. Different styles, traditions, ‘n beliefs within different subcultures, but in the end, a legal joining none the less.   It is the license ‘n certificate! … We can see them !! .. .. It is what we can touch, feel, and read which gives us the feeling of steadfastness. I mean Hey !!! …. We sign the friggin things, ….. Don’t we ? ? . Therefore, it must surely be ???


It is this human need to have something there of a tactile nature before we can believe it to be true. It separates us to some extent from what we feel, what we think, and in some cases … What we know to be true. It is as though we need some sort of system to justify and convince us of our beliefs, our actions to be true.


In my case, the license and cert. meant absolutely nothing to me. It was what my Ex wanted, and I went along with it to appease her. And so, I thought, that it might make her feel more confident of our relationship. But that’s another story all together.

Just as now, a divorce certificate means absolutely nothing to me. If one day she wishes a legal divorce, all’s she need do is have the appropriate papers set in front of me and I’ll sign em for her. The relationship is over, she has taken her toys and moved on, so it is quite simply of no import to me.


Tracie brings up an interesting scenario and is a perfect example of what it is I’s talkin about.


“On that note I have a co worker who is having a commitment ceremony….ya no typical wedding ceremony for them…just committing to be together for life??  Hummm not sure or maybe it is just for 10 years….lol.  I don’t know.”


This is precisely what I meant when I said “Worthy of celebrating perhaps”. Why not Eh ?? . Just leave the time restraints out of it all together, and promise ta give it yer best shot. Not because of some concept, but because of the way you feel fer one and other.


 If a couple, after determining and mutually deciding to enter into a spousal relationship wish to celebrate this occasion with friends and family, Is always a good excuse fer a get-together and a Party !! . “Commitment Ceremony” ….. It just rings !! …. Don’t it ?? .. Or how’s about “Commitment Bash” Yeah !! . I actually like that better. Somethin casual, out by a small lake somewheres. … Frisbees,  football, baseball, swimming, … Whatever !! …. BBQ’d burgers ‘n sausages, a buffet of potats, veggies, ‘n salads. …… OH !!!! . And lest we not ferget The CAKE !! … We all know that it’s all about the Cake,


So now !! …. Getting back to the quote at the top ‘a the page, ‘n ya can go give it another read if’n ya’d like, let it soak in a bit. …. Not ta worry … I’ll wait right here fer ya’s.

I’s still waitin …. 


OH !! . Yer back … Sheesh !!

Just about fell asleep there. {big yawn}


Ok!! So where was I?? Right then, the quote !!

Imagine if you will that the commitment to a spousal relationship is the tree, the commitment being the very character of the relationship. .. And that the legalities and certificates are the shadow, the reputation which we see as bein proof that the tree does indeed exist. To my way of thinkin, if the tree is strong enough, then you can lean against it and it will hold you up. … If you attempt to lean on the showdown, then you are already on yer azz and most likely the tree is simply waiting for a stiff breeze ta blow it over.


At a fairly young age I knew that if ever, I would only marry once. I never got married till I was 35 as I had certain goals I wished to reach first. But there!! I’ve done it!! . The proof is in the puddin. The license and the cert. didn’t hold it together. I will never engage in a legal or religious marriage again!! . This is not to say I’d never make that same commitment and put the same effort towards a spousal relationship. It would simply have to be with someone who better understands the dynamics of said relationship. Someone more dedicated to the friendship as opposed to the legalities and certain social notions of such a union. It may not be as simple as all ‘a that but in the end, this is pretty much the dirt ‘n debris of it.

Take care kiddies, and best wishes fer all thangs good.

Ciao Fer Now …

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Posted April 6, 2006 by Archie ~Grumps~ in ~ Social Studies ~

6 responses to “~ Social Studies 103 ~

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  1. Well done and said archie that must of took you quit awhile to put that all together. You did a great job and I understand where you are coming from. A marriage is no good if one of the other is giving their heart and soul into it and the other is just take , take take. What does a marriage liiscence mean anyways these day nonthing to a lot of people its just another piece of paper to put on file. You can live your whole life together without that piece of paper and be happy. Its  just bascially a legal document to say yes I\’m married but I know one thing its a piece of paper that could cost you alot of money and grieve if that marriage doesn\’t work out.  Another quess archie what do you say about nutuail agreements hope I spelt that right anyways good job archie take care ttyl.

  2. I think I got all my ducks in a row.. tanks grumps!

  3. hehehehe "tanks"I seem to picking up your lingo THANKS

  4. Hmmm… U little thinker U!! :PI agree…I would rather spend a short time loving someone fully, then the rest of my life resenting them. I guess that\’s why I did not take the proverbial plunge. In any case…paper is just paper, and I won\’t let the government or church dictate my feelings for another human being. Commitment ceremony sounds like a great idea to me. You are a gentleman and a scholar Grumps!!! (as always)
    And….I love that quote…I may just steal it from ya!!
    But I\’ll leave one in kind:
    Desire is desire is desire. The sun cannot bleach it, nor the tide wash it away.
    If you love someone then a piece of paper is worthless be it a certificate of marriage or divorce.
    Big HUGGS to ya!!

  5. Howdy Arch,
    Sorry it\’s taken a while for me to get back to ya. LOL! I have been up to my eyeballs in work! Thank God I gotta day off today! LOL!
    Well yes my first marriage DID teach me what I didn\’t want too but I always try to state the positive though. LOL! I just know what mistakes I\’ll never make again to be sure. LOL!
    Hope you\’ve had a great weekend hon and I\’ll try and get back here as soon as possible. HUGS!
    Love & Blessings,

  6. a NO-SNOW weekend =D
    and I\’m happy to to tell you that my dear ol\’ dad has fired up the BBQ for us a few times now too! I don\’t know how to start one let alone use it.. and I don\’t intend to learn.. it\’s one of those man jobs hahah
    Hope you enjoyed the weekend

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