~ Social Studies 102 ~   4 comments

                     

 

Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.

Alan Watts

 

So having said all ‘a that {previous blob ~ social studies 101 ~}, lets just take a wee look at Marriage itself. Firstly, and just so there’s no delusions here, lets just check the dictionary to see what the meaning of the word is in regards to a relationship of a spousal nature.

mar·riage  

1.  legal relationship between spouses: a legally recognized relationship, established by a civil or religious ceremony, between two people who intend to live together as sexual and domestic partners 

2.  particular marriage relationship: a married relationship between two particular people, or an individual’s relationship with an individual spouse 

3.  joining in wedlock: the joining together in wedlock of two people 

4.  marriage ceremony: the ceremony in which two people are joined together formally in wedlock 

Now in case you didn’t catch it … Nowhere in there does it refer to marriage as something you pledge to enter into for the remainder of yer life. It would be interesting to see the definition in a dictionary from say, fifty or more years ago just for the sake of comparison. I’ve no such a beast layin about so I’m afraid we’s just out ‘a luck here unless someone happens to have one and would care to pass its definition on to me.

 

If you wonder that I might have some archaic notion that once you marry, come hell or high water, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, for richer or for poorer, and what ever other shyte comes with the whole “ceremony” of marriage right up to “till death do you part” … It’s a lovely thought but ferget it. Not in this day and age. For those who can, and in the end can say that their relationship was a worthy one with no regrets … Then to you I would have to say …

Congratulations 

I am however, so far past the point where I can see the actual “ceremony” of getting married as being something worthy of congratulations. Worthy of celebrating perhaps, but when I think about it, the process of getting married is absolutely nothin in comparison to actually makin it work for a lifetime as most of us do pledge. Some of us twice, three times, or more. So what’s the point??? .. Near as I can see, the whole thing with the license ‘n that silly little piece ‘a paper known as a marriage certificate is really quite inconsequential.

 

The reality is that the entire dynamics of a marriage, or of a “spousal relationship” as I like to refer to it, has gone through some pretty radical changes over the last 50 or so years with the sole exception of the ceremony itself. Well Ok !! … there is one little wee change in the ceremony. Woman no longer promise to OBEY!!! . {LMAO} Damn them anyways huh !! {still laughin}

Pull yerself together dammit !! {pheww !!}

I gotta tell ya here though … Is a real head scratcher fer me that the process of getting married as far as the ceremony goes hasn’t changed along with the times and changes in society in general since time immemorial. I know that prenuptial agreements are getting more common, although more so for the rich and famous, yet still there’s this whole thing what we stand in front of friends, family, and whatever church, where we pledge nothin more than a concept of wishful thinking. Time is the only judge of how long a marriage will last so why bother to promise something such as we have seemingly so little control of. .. Is like I say anyways … ~ “If you cannot maintain the friendship … You will never know the Love.” ~ Well … certainly not fer life anyways. And if yer marriage is failed, to drag it out could quite possibly scrub whatever loving memories ya do still have.

 

Perhaps at this point in time, prenuptial agreements should be mandatory !! .. Amendable of course as what is practical today most assuredly may well not be practical tomorrow but the way I see it .. Having these guidelines in place could quite possibly take some ‘a the stress out ‘a the relationship throughout its longevity and would most assuredly make life somewhat easier should {more likely when} the time come that a couple choose to dissolve their relationship. … You know …… Who gets ta keep the wide screen TV, the cat, the dog, the blender, the cordless phone, … the bud buster … Can’t help ya when it comes ta who gets ta keep the kidies though. {wee snicker} Yeah … Yer on yer own there !! . Is no small wonder why kids can get so messed up though through all ‘a the bickerin.

 

One more thing here, and getting back to the quote at the top ‘a the blob … It is my opinion that if you are in a relationship of a spousal nature, the best policy is to be honest to both yourself and to your spouse. If the relationship is over … Admit it !! … Do not engage in another relationship while still engaged with your current spouse. To be faithful is perhaps the only promise you make which you do indeed have total control of. It’s one thing to fantasize, is altogether somethin else to jump into someone else’s bed. It can be hard enough to deal with separation without the added agony of infidelity. Infidelity can only lead to clouded judgment, guilt, and a whole lot ‘a pain. Quite probably more so to yourself, than to your spouse.

 

Our character…is an omen of our destiny, and the more integrity we have and keep, the simpler and nobler that destiny is likely to be.

 

George Santayana (1863 – 1952)

 

Take care, enjoy, ‘n don’t sweat the small stuff !!

Catch ya’s Later.

   ~ Social Studies ~ Parts ‘1’ through ‘3’  

          

       

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Posted March 30, 2006 by Archie ~Grumps~ in ~ Social Studies ~

4 responses to “~ Social Studies 102 ~

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  1. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUD BUSTER!!!!!!!!!!!! how do ya split that up in a divorce?
    They don\’t work quite so well in a half piece! :O) heheheheheeeeeeeeeeeeee
    I can totally agreee with you. FOr me, marriage is just a step in the right direction to make a life long commitment in being with each other. I personally think the only reason  FOR divorce is a CHEATER.
    That being said, that is WHY I divorced my FIRST husband, I hope to be married again soon, but, I am really taking my time, and I spent alot of time on straightening my own head out, before persuing another realtionship…HEY bunk, I would be PROUD TO OBEY  in fact I do think there should be a single head of the household, BUT hey, I work just as much as my boyfreind and, MAKE MORE CASH. So, we work together.IF I could stay home and play housewife, hey he has full reigns!!
    LOL
    katt

  2. Like I mentioned b4…gone are the blessed days of Little House on The Prairies…*heavy sigh*.
     
    On that note I ahve a co worker who is having a committment ceremony….ya no typical wedding ceremony for them…just committing to be together for life??  Hummm not sure or maybe it is just for 10 years….lol.  I don\’t know.
     
    Anyways i have yet to marry not too sure if I ever will or not….not holding my breath….as it is not something high on my list of things to do! 
     
    Have a great weekend Grumps!
     
    {{{HUGGLEZ}}}
     
    Tracie

  3. ok arch, i have to agree with ya 110% on the fact of if you want out say so! be honest about it, dont cheat, if you think the grass is greener on the othe side, good luck!, lol cuz no doubt in my mind it will have a bunch of brown patches growin before ya know it. fantasy is good, lol.but no touching! that little peice of paper OWNS you, until you divorce. and on that happy note, im outta here, humungous hugs p.s. i told you i would try and get here! lol sorry i couldnt make it any sooner hon

  4. Hey Arch,
     
    Very good blog. I\’d have to agree with you all the way on a lot of points. My first marriage ended in divorce.  I think being in a bad marriage the first time has made me realize just what I want in my second marriage. I have to say that my second marriage is going great! I think a lot of that is down to the fact that I learned from my mistakes from my first marriage and I am really seeing what a marriage should be all about this time around.
     
    I\’m glad you enjoyed my Mouse Balls thingy I posted the other day. I thought it was fantastic! LOL! God bless my Mom for sending it my way! You go right ahead and share it with as many people as you want. I feel that the best hing anybosy can do is share a laugh with others.
     
    Anyway…I hope you have a wonderful weekend hon and I\’ll try and get in touch with you again soon. It\’s been INSANE round here lately! LOL! HUGS!
     
    Love & Blessings,
     
    Martha

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